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Offline Lolerbabop

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Saturday Humor
« Reply #165 on: April 12, 2013, 08:50:47 PM »
Ronnie Mac is also Brett Cue.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline TMKIWI

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« Reply #166 on: April 12, 2013, 10:15:31 PM »
jimmy Alberton.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »
If you don't fall off you are not going hard enough

Offline SachsGS

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« Reply #167 on: April 13, 2013, 03:45:29 PM »
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline shanes

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« Reply #168 on: April 14, 2013, 01:34:41 AM »
For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.
Not fair to make judgment of this, until you see what the Fire Chief said.

In South Los Angeles, a 4-plex home was destroyed by a fire.


 
 A black family of six, all welfare recipients and gang members,
lived on the first floor. They died.

An Islamic group of seven welfare cheats,
all illegally in the country from Kenya, lived on the second floor,
and they, too, all perished in the fire.

Six Hispanic gang-bangers and ex-cons
lived on the third floor and they also died.

A white couple lived on the top floor.
They alone survived the fire.



Jesse Jackson, John Burris and Al Sharpton were furious when they heard about it.
They flew into L.A. and met with the fire chief, on camera.
They loudly demanded to know,
why the blacks, Muslims and Hispanics
all died in the fire and why only the white couple lived.



The Fire Chief said, "They were at work."
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline factoryX

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  • Hurry! Follow the other farting sheep!
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« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »


I ride an 03 yz250, wait 04, wait 05, what ever, they're all the same #$@% YOU!

Offline eprovenzano

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« Reply #170 on: April 18, 2013, 01:57:10 PM »
The Hypnotist

It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Center.  Claude the hypnotist explained: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.  "I want each of you to keep your eyes on this antique watch.  It's a very special watch.  It's been in my family for six generations."

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.

A hundred pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch until, suddenly, the chain broke; it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"SHIT!" said the hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the Senior Citizens Center.

Claude was never invited back.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »
Eric Provenzano
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Offline citabjockey

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« Reply #171 on: April 18, 2013, 09:36:55 PM »
Eric, that one really "smells".   :D :D :D
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »
Yamaha CT3, RT3, MX125, SC500, Toy Prius, Diesel F250 (it all balances out)

Offline Lolerbabop

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« Reply #172 on: April 19, 2013, 01:13:18 AM »
CHARLIE FUCKING BRONSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline Stusmoke

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« Reply #173 on: April 19, 2013, 02:03:31 AM »
The Hypnotist

It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Center.  Claude the hypnotist explained: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.  "I want each of you to keep your eyes on this antique watch.  It's a very special watch.  It's been in my family for six generations."

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.

A hundred pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch until, suddenly, the chain broke; it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"SHIT!" said the hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the Senior Citizens Center.

Claude was never invited back.

My chair nearly broke aswell I laughed so hard.


How to find Rocks, steel tent pegs and other assorted solid objects: Drive around in on a lawn mower.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline ford832

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« Reply #174 on: April 19, 2013, 03:11:08 PM »
What won't an NZer stick in his butt? :o

http://www.sunnewsnetwork.ca/sunnews/world/archives/2013/04/20130418-214137.html

And I thought the sheep thing was bad. :-X :)
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »
I'd rather a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

Offline Stusmoke

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« Reply #175 on: April 19, 2013, 11:53:22 PM »
... YOu gotta wonder how that went down. Sat on it? Nah, I think not. Caught it out on the water in birthday, totally smashed and got dared? Maybe...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline cnrcpla

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« Reply #176 on: April 20, 2013, 12:08:35 AM »
Quote
Caught it out on the water in birthday, totally smashed and got dared? Maybe...
You seem to know how these things go down  :-X Something your not telling us Stu?  ;D :P
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline Stusmoke

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« Reply #177 on: April 20, 2013, 03:54:32 AM »
Quote
Caught it out on the water in birthday, totally smashed and got dared? Maybe...
You seem to know how these things go down  :-X Something your not telling us Stu?  ;D :P

We all do things we're not proud of....
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline cnrcpla

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« Reply #178 on: April 20, 2013, 04:35:58 AM »
 :o :-X
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline TMKIWI

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« Reply #179 on: April 20, 2013, 06:07:25 AM »
That was pretty funny when it happened, still is. ;D
What is missing from that story is it was a visiting Aussie. ;)
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »
If you don't fall off you are not going hard enough