NEW VERSION
Here i took some reasons to love bikes and to hate women. Feel free to post if you have something to add.
SO:
To turn your bike on it's not needed to tenderly pull off its plastics.
If the bike thus doesn't start, it's possible to kick it roughly on the kick-starter.
A motorcycle always moves in your rhythm.
You don't need to invent something: you're always at the top and your bike will never get bored from that.
Even if you forgot to put on your outfits (helmet, knee pads, boots...), you can slowly and carefully continue the ride to the very end and nothing will happen. (And you won't have to jump off the bike in the last seconds before the finish line!)
If you somehow spoiled something on a stranger bike that belongs to someone else, you won't have to marry it then.
Girls are hardly stoppaple when turned on. Bikes are much easier to stop. (of course, if there's no detonation and the throttle isn't stuck.
Your bike won't yell about just made new pedicure if there's mud on the road.
When you go shopping with or for your bike, you choose everything yourself. The advantage is obvious.
If something's wrong with your bike you can lock it in the garage even for 9months. And nothing will happen during that time.
A motorcycle is always hot and it can warm you, meanwhile a girl can decline.
Your motorcycle don't run stealth to other riders behind your back.
You can fuel your bike very often, but it won't get any fatter.
If you unmount all the plastics from your bike, it'll be possible to still ride around and it will be etically OK and even beautiful.
A motorcycle doesn't have mood changing every second about 4 days out of 28.
Having a bike is way much cheaper
No bike can eat 29 gal. of gas in a restaurant during a hour. !!! (1 gal = 3.5 bux)
To the owners of the dirtbikes: it's hard to imagine a girl that could handle 60ft jump at 50 mph.
The bike never leaks with human blood under certain conditions.
When you purchase a new graceful bike for a long time, you won't always have to see an old, rusty, heavy motorcycle of the same model all around...
A motorcycle (in theory )can be actively used right after leaving the factory, and you don't have to wait about 16 years until it gets old enough.
A motorcycle can't do anything without its rider, but unlike a girl, it at least doesn't deny that fact.
No girl can satisfy a man as great as a nice bike.
If your motorcycle weigh 450 pounds, your friends won't laugh at you and call you looser.
It's completely normal and even necessary to touch a bike in the most inaccessible places and check everything before purchasing it. And the bike won't be against that.
You can ride your bike several times and it will anyway be considered new, e.g., when you give it away to another rider.
A motorcycle can't fall in love with you, so breaking up with it can only cause depression for you.
A motorcycle can either work or not, no intermediate states,. And if it doesn't work, it will never pretend to be working, imitate engine sound and so on.
After the first ride on your bike you won't have to listen long-lasting cries about how painful it was, before going on a next ride.
A motorcycle will work perfectly no matter if you want to ride it for one day or for the whole life.
A motorcycle will never decline if you decide to wash it yourself with warm soapy water (even if this is the first time you see each other)
If your motorcycle broke right when you most of all wanted to ride and screwed up all your pleasure, you can call it with the dirtiest words.
A motorcycle will never mumble about the safety rules, say, a helmet, and it won't try to drop you off if the helmet thus isn't worn.
After half a hour of unsuccessful attempts to start your bike, you may have your legs dog-tired, but, at least, not your tongue.
An inexperienced rider can learn riding by trial and error, and the bike won't teach him or blame him cause of not having experience.
You can hit the brake and bring your bike to full stop whenever you want, and the bike won't moan "A-ah, don't stop, sweetie, please!!!"
Unlike a girl, a motorbike can't be VERY ugly.
Bike movies are absolutely legit and normal, no matter how old are the bikes starring there. You won't have to hide those movies from children, your wife or the police.
A motorcycle will never tend to tell any crap about you to some other bikes.
If you purchased a new bike, the old one won't try to take revenge.
Cylinders of a bike don't get any wider during intensive use.
If you started your bike, warmed it up, then suddenly canceled the ride, your motorcycle won't blame you and call you a limpdick.
Liquids leaking from the bike (gas, brake fluid, oil, coolant) won't attract everyone's attention, if they are on your face or clothes. Their smells are much more pleasant and they are the same on all bikes.
After many years together your bike will look pretty similar to new, it won't turn into 300 lb of cellulite.
You can successfully ride your bike even if you're tired, sick, in a bad mood, or just don't want to ride at all.
Your bike doesn't give a rat's @ss to your wealth or how well-paid your job is.
Your bike won't get upset if you practice on some moto-simulators.
You can teach little children how to ride, tell them about how it works, and no one will say this is amoral.
You don't have to remember the date of purchase\first ride\first won race and the other dates to do with your bike, and celebrate them.
Appearing in public on your bike will gain you more interest from girls, than if you came with a girl
The quicker you finish on your bike, the higher your rider skills are. With girls you have exactly the opposite.
If you are not able to start your bike, you can always ask for help some of your friends of any gender, use an animal like a horse, or even a fat hairy mechanic from the service...
Your Yamaha won't be upset if you call it Honda or Suzuki by mistake.
You can have one bike for training, another one for racing, one more for just having fun - and the best thing they won't kill each other while shut in one garage togeher.
You can ride your bike at any day of the month.
A motorcycle doesn't have parents.
Motorcycles never have headaches.
Whooh, i'm tired. Special thanks to miss Venus from Russia, miss Ann from central Russia, miss Victoria also from Russia and to miss Lily Sagitova from Canada.
TO BE CONTINUED...
