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Offline cnrcpla

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« Reply #285 on: August 13, 2013, 05:02:05 AM »
Quote
No more slavery? I dunno I shovel horse **** for $10 an hour and no S.A contributions. Thats coming close...
When I was saving up for a car a few years ago I shoveled their sh!t and cleaned those damn things all day for $5 an hour. I also had to deal with the most annoying people ever. Oh and I was payed under the table (obviously, that's way below minimum wage). But that was one of three summer jobs that year and it got me a car  ;D
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline Stusmoke

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« Reply #286 on: August 13, 2013, 05:22:14 AM »
Yup works out to be roughly the same deal cos everything in aus is so expensive. $120 for a pirelli rear tyre here. Upwards for the bridgestones/Dlops.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline Lolerbabop

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« Reply #287 on: August 14, 2013, 05:35:22 PM »
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline Stusmoke

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« Reply #288 on: August 14, 2013, 11:21:50 PM »


Looks about right. Particularly the vista one :D

If I may reference team america: RAM WHORE !@#$ YEAH! DODGEY LOGIC *&^% YEAH! STUPID FEATURES #$%% YEAH! UAC *(&^ YEAH!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline eprovenzano

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« Reply #289 on: August 15, 2013, 03:55:36 PM »
Why I'm divorced...A LADY AND HER TALE OF WOE.

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!, and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.'

I thought...... well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... they will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfasts and didn't say a word..

So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my handsome Boss Rick, said, 'Good Morning, lady,
and by the way Happy Birthday! '

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.  I worked until one o'clock, when Rick knocked on my door and said, 'You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me....'

I said, 'Thanks, Rick, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!'

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.  We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Rick said, 'You know, it's such a beautiful day...we don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?'

I responded, 'I guess not.  What do you have in mind?'

He said, 'Let's drop by my place, it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said, If you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.  I'll be right back.'

'Ok.' I nervously replied.

He went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, he came out carrying a huge birthday cake ....followed by my husband, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there....

On the couch......

Naked...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »
Eric Provenzano
2019 KTM 300 XCW TPI
2000 KTM 300 EXC (Son's)
2001 KTM 380 EXC
Sold 1991 KDX 200... fun play bike
Sold 1999 KX250
Sold 1999 YZ125 (son's)
Sold 2001 Yamaha TTL 125 (son's 1st bike)
Sold but never forgotten 1974 Honda Elsinore CR250M
Sold 1974 Honda Elsinore CR125

Offline eprovenzano

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« Reply #290 on: August 15, 2013, 03:58:20 PM »
The Defective Parrot.

A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.  It doesn't have any feet or legs.  The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this way.  I'm a defective parrot.'

'Holy crap,' the guy replies.

'You actually understood and answered me. !'

'I got every word,' says the parrot.

'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'

'Oh yeah?' the guy asks.

'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?'

'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.  You can't see it, because of my feathers.'

'Wow,' says the guy.

'You really can understand, and can speak English, can?t you.?'

'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.  I'm especially good at ornithology.   You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag.

'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'

'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet.  You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer.!'

The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by.  The parrot is sensational.  He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.  The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes,'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.  'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the postman.'

'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy.

'When he delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.'

'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.

'THEN what happened?'

'Well, he came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.

'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?'

'Yes.

Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.'

Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'

DUNNO?!? I got an erection, and fell off my perch.!' 

If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »
Eric Provenzano
2019 KTM 300 XCW TPI
2000 KTM 300 EXC (Son's)
2001 KTM 380 EXC
Sold 1991 KDX 200... fun play bike
Sold 1999 KX250
Sold 1999 YZ125 (son's)
Sold 2001 Yamaha TTL 125 (son's 1st bike)
Sold but never forgotten 1974 Honda Elsinore CR250M
Sold 1974 Honda Elsinore CR125

Offline Stusmoke

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« Reply #291 on: August 15, 2013, 09:44:21 PM »
The Defective Parrot.

A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.  It doesn't have any feet or legs.  The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this way.  I'm a defective parrot.'

'Holy crap,' the guy replies.

'You actually understood and answered me. !'

'I got every word,' says the parrot.

'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'

'Oh yeah?' the guy asks.

'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?'

'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.  You can't see it, because of my feathers.'

'Wow,' says the guy.

'You really can understand, and can speak English, can?t you.?'

'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.  I'm especially good at ornithology.   You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag.

'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'

'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet.  You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer.!'

The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by.  The parrot is sensational.  He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.  The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes,'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.  'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the postman.'

'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy.

'When he delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.'

'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.

'THEN what happened?'

'Well, he came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.

'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?'

'Yes.

Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.'

Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'

DUNNO?!? I got an erection, and fell off my perch.!' 

If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day.


Hahaaha oh dear. I've got to meet you in person one day.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline rlaj1004

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« Reply #292 on: August 16, 2013, 06:38:02 PM »


LMAO, word of advice, bigger stick = lamb chops.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline Stusmoke

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« Reply #293 on: August 17, 2013, 04:02:16 AM »


LMAO, word of advice, bigger stick = lamb chops.

HAH! I had a similar thing happen to me with the neighbours pet carpet snake that had escaped. It could not have position itself more perfectly in the centre of my trail... dozing in the sun.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline rlaj1004

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« Reply #294 on: August 17, 2013, 05:24:53 PM »


HAH! I had a similar thing happen to me with the neighbours pet carpet snake that had escaped. It could not have position itself more perfectly in the centre of my trail... dozing in the sun.
[/quote]

Hahahahaha ..... exactly
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline Lolerbabop

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« Reply #295 on: August 17, 2013, 07:14:46 PM »
You guys ****ing SUCK at quotes.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline Stusmoke

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« Reply #296 on: August 17, 2013, 11:10:36 PM »


HAH! I had a similar thing happen to me with the neighbours pet carpet snake that had escaped. It could not have position itself more perfectly in the centre of my trail... dozing in the sun.

Hahahahaha ..... exactly
[/quote]

ITs even worse when your bike doesnt have a kickstand. I had to hold ont othe front fender so it didn't fall over and gently nudge the snake off the path while looking backwwards through my legs... I'm sure the dudes up at nasa were laughing their asses off  >:-D :-X
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline Lolerbabop

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« Reply #297 on: August 17, 2013, 11:31:34 PM »
I found something for you guys!

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline Lolerbabop

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« Reply #298 on: August 18, 2013, 10:19:24 PM »
He would still win races riding like this! HAHAH!












"oooh OOOh OOOOOOHH!!! *fap fap fap fap*"
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »

Offline rlaj1004

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« Reply #299 on: August 19, 2013, 04:28:09 PM »
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by ' »